To my astonishment, I had been arranged to help in Orthopedics unit today. I was reluctant but I had to face with my phobia. I knew I could escape myself from my fear. Early in the morning I was busy handling with different patients with different conditions. I even did mistakes when measuring ROM in thumb abduction. It was embarrassing when I was being questioned by the therapist. The first patient that I did monofilament test on him was a general worker in Ministry of State in Johor. He had retired now and moved to Klang. He complained of pain and numbness on both arms causing the test had to be halted for many times to let him rest awhile before continuing. I began to be impatient when patient failed to feel the monofilament. I was annoyed by the distraction of the television but the therapist did not even bother about the disruptions. After lunch there were still many patients in orthopedics unit. I chatted with many patients and did what the therapists told me to do. I handled CTS, and fractures cases. One of the patients is a marketing manager in a law firm. He was on leave till January. He had left distal end radius fracture and yet he is optimistic and always thinks of the good side. I ended today session after all patients had done with TENS, hand helper and theraputty exercise.
What gave me a vivid impression was a patient who was a dental surgeon before retiring. She worked for government hospital for more than 10 years then changed the environment to work in a private hospital. She dedicated her life into dental field for decades and she felt contented with her life. She struggled before as dentistry was her mother’s ambition not hers. She wanted to be a journalist photographer, she likes travelling and photographing. However different kinds of patients drew her to continue in her field for so many years. She enjoyed interacting and communicating with patients of different background, religion, and races. There were a lot of stories that might give her some lessons. Before she left, she emphasized to us that passion is very important to keep one moving further in one’s field or career. If work for salary, one’s life must be miserable and meaningless. I strongly agreed with her and I really think that enthusiasm is the key to success and keep your competency in your field. Without passion we will work like a robot, emotionless and heartless. I started to feel lost whenever I was told to do this and that. I started to think did all these we give fulfilling what the patients indeed wanted for? Were we too robotic? Were we too rigid? Did the practical students too obey to their instructions? Did we really perform our roles as a good therapist? I was thinking all the time but I had no answers and I dared not to deepen the problems. Where is the true passion? For me a true and reliable therapist is the one who cares not just physically but mentally and psychologically. I want to be the one but it is still a long journey to discover the way and time is needed to mould me into a “true” and truthful therapist.
What gave me a vivid impression was a patient who was a dental surgeon before retiring. She worked for government hospital for more than 10 years then changed the environment to work in a private hospital. She dedicated her life into dental field for decades and she felt contented with her life. She struggled before as dentistry was her mother’s ambition not hers. She wanted to be a journalist photographer, she likes travelling and photographing. However different kinds of patients drew her to continue in her field for so many years. She enjoyed interacting and communicating with patients of different background, religion, and races. There were a lot of stories that might give her some lessons. Before she left, she emphasized to us that passion is very important to keep one moving further in one’s field or career. If work for salary, one’s life must be miserable and meaningless. I strongly agreed with her and I really think that enthusiasm is the key to success and keep your competency in your field. Without passion we will work like a robot, emotionless and heartless. I started to feel lost whenever I was told to do this and that. I started to think did all these we give fulfilling what the patients indeed wanted for? Were we too robotic? Were we too rigid? Did the practical students too obey to their instructions? Did we really perform our roles as a good therapist? I was thinking all the time but I had no answers and I dared not to deepen the problems. Where is the true passion? For me a true and reliable therapist is the one who cares not just physically but mentally and psychologically. I want to be the one but it is still a long journey to discover the way and time is needed to mould me into a “true” and truthful therapist.
Experience is another key for me to sharpen my skills. This posting was a chance for me to make mistakes and accumulate my results in order to become stronger and tougher. Knowledge is the power to stand still confidently. The reason I was always in low self-esteem was that I cannot convince others with my knowledge. I have a lot of uncertainties to clarify. I really need to be determined and have strong will to toughen my foundation of knowledge. I really want to be the good one to treat my patient. I do not want to be a robot merely.
I saw this in some website, feel strongly to quote down to remind myself: WHAT is it that's hard to break??? Diamond? Nope. The answer is:
HABIT!
If you break the H, you still have A BIT.
If you break the A, you still have BIT.
If you break the B, you still have IT!
Hey, after you break the T in IT, there is still the 'I'.
And that (I) is the root cause of all the problems. J
