Well another time of ielts again. And again it sucks!!!! It was my third time and I don't feel alright. I'm sick of taking this stupid IELTs. It's the first time I felt so defeated and indeed lack of motivation to move on. I was once reckoned as a fantastic linguistic person. Language is always my strength. But why come to today, it is my killing factor for not getting my license. I feel so hopeless yet helpless. I know the only way is to keep taking till I pass but my heart is so weak. I hate failure. I hate English demolished me!!😫😫😫 my mom my sis my bf my friends all thought that I can pass easily but it turned out to be not. What happened??? What happened to me? What happened to this little lucky girl? What happened to this little undefeated cockcroach that has strong will and perseverance? I can't think of any reason or excuse. I'm just tired. If I'm not able to go through this, what to mention about studying overseas or further my study in UK or Australia? Who am I? Where should I suppose to be? Or maybe I don't belong to here? A lot of questions and negativity running in my mind. I'm frail I'm weak I'm stupid I'm just a normal silly girl that know nothing. I'm no longer an awesome talented girl that I knew before.
I need to reorganize my thoughts. Shut down and start over again. It's easier to say than do. I'm always paying lip service on my own life. But I ought to do something about it. Something to create a better me. A new me. A different me.
* I am still praying hard and waiting for a miracle to happen... 😪😯😯
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